


have you ever thought just maybe (you belong with me)

by lostariels



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Neighbors, Prom, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostariels/pseuds/lostariels
Summary: based on the song/music video for you belong with me by taylor swift
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 28
Kudos: 564





	have you ever thought just maybe (you belong with me)

Sitting on her bed with her homework spread out around her, the sleeves of the Midvale High Mathletes sweatshirt that she’d grown out of last year pushed up, Lena was working on her chemistry homework as music played softly in the background.

The room was large, predominantly filled with trophies from science fairs and NASA posters, her desk buried beneath physics books and mid-term essay drafts that she was still finetuning. Her telescope was situated near the window and her clarinet case, battered and worn, lay at the foot of her bed beside her school bag. She’d already gotten in her practice for the evening and felt worn out from studying.

The curtains were pulled back from the bay window and she could see into the room directly across from her in the next-door house. The lights were on and the curtains open too, a ritual at this point, and she peered at the pacing blonde. Kara looked irritated, her cheeks flushed as she spoke animatedly into the phone, still wearing the blue and white tracksuit of the cheer squad. She hadn’t been in long, her hair still up in a high ponytail, waiting to shower, and Lena frowned slightly, her mouth pulling down in a disapproving grimace. She was fighting with Mike again.

Averting her eyes, feeling like she should get up and close her curtains so Kara didn’t think she was spying on her, Lena twirled the pencil in her hand and scratched down the answer to a chemical formula. She finished up quickly and shoved the finished equations into her backpack for tomorrow before turning the music up on the small stereo. Kara was gone from her room.

Putting on one of her favourite artists, the room was filled with loud percussion sounds and bass. One of the perks of her mother working late every night was the fact that Lena was always home alone, blasting her music and practising her clarinet as loud as she wanted to, ordering takeout and finishing her homework in peace.

With no qualms of anyone bursting into her room, looking for an argument, she let the music wash over her as the song changed, first just bobbing her head at the intro, before she was loudly singing along. Climbing to her feet, she turned the music up louder, the electro house beat drowning out the sounds of her voice as she danced.

Forgetting herself, Lena pretended like she was at a concert, or perhaps performing at her own one, so wrapped up in jumping around dancing that when she turned around, she froze at the sight of Kara watching her through the window with an amused look on her face. Face stricken, Lena’s mouth fell open and her cheeks flooded with red as she quickly dropped to the floor, mortification overcoming her.

She crouched for a long moment, wincing as she slowly reached up to turn the music down before she popped her head up high enough to look across the way. Kara was sitting in the window seat of her room, patiently waiting, and at the sight of Lena’s eyebrows and forehead making an appearance, she held up her notebook with a message scrawled on it.

_ Good song? _

Flushing an even deeper red, Lena slowly climbed to her feet, head ducked down and shoulders hunched self-consciously as she grabbed a notebook and marker from her desk that she kept for such conversations.

_ Yes _

She held it up in front of her burning face and lowered it after a moment, taking in the profile of Kara’s ducked head as she concentrated on writing a reply. Lena waited and a moment later, Kara held up a reply.

_ Which song? _

_ Spectrum _

_ Another Florence + The Machine one? _

_ Yes _

Lena bit her lip as she gave Kara a sheepish smile, shrugging helplessly. She watched as Kara laughed from across the way, shaking her head in a fond manner, although there was a cast of sadness to her face. Smile fading, Lena turned the page and quickly scribbled another note, her stomach lurching slightly as she held it up with a furrowed look of concern on her face.

_ You okay? _

_ Just drama _

_ Want to talk about it? _

_ Roof? _

At Kara’s message, Lena set her notebook and pen down and opened the window. Pushing it all the way up, she ducked through onto the gently sloped roof that extended to the edge of the property, a fence separating her and Kara’s house, and a scant metre or so between their respective roofs. Lena sometimes felt like she could reach out and touch Kara when they perched on their roofs late at night, a ritual that had been occurring since middle school, when Lena had moved to Midvale, moved in next door to Kara and shyly became friends with the girl next door.

Settling down on the slate tiles, Lena drew her knees up to her chest as she watched Kara’s lanky frame climb out of her own window. Carefully sitting down, Kara mimicked Lena’s posture and gave her a half-hearted smile.

“Nice dancing,” she softly called out.

Pressing her face into the crook of her elbow, Lena groaned loudly. “I didn’t know you were watching!”

“No, really, I liked it,” Kara chuckled.

Letting out her own laugh, self-conscious and a little nervous, Lena raised her head and gave Kara an exasperated look of amusement. They smiled at each other for a moment before Lena’s expression turned solemn, pity in her green eyes as she took in the slight puffiness to Kara’s face, her blonde hair curling in damp strands around her face. It looked like she’d been crying in the shower, and Lena bet that if she could see her clearly, her eyes would be bloodshot too.

“Are you okay?”

Blowing the air out of her lungs, Kara looked up at the sky and swallowed thickly, “yeah, it’s just … things with Mike, you know?”

“Anything I can help with?”

“He’s just mad at something I said earlier; it’s nothing.”

“Oh,” Lena murmured, her face softening as she stared at Kara for a long moment. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty great.”

Kara let out a choked laugh, a small smile spreading across her face as she nudged her glasses further up her nose. She only ever wore them at home and Lena secretly loved them, even though she’d never say it. They caught the light behind Lena, flashing in the dark as Kara shifted slightly.

“You are too,” Kara softly sighed, “I wish- I wish we were friends at school. You  _ could _ sit with us at lunch, you know. No one would mind.”

Rubbing at the back of her neck, Lena bared her teeth in an uneasy grimace as she looked down. “Yeah, I just- I don’t think I’d really …  _ fit in _ with that crowd.”

Snorting, Kara’s cheek dimpled with a grim smile, “I know the feeling. Sometimes- sometimes I think I don’t fit in with them either. And, I mean, I wish Mike was more like you sometimes.  _ You _ actually listen to me. I think you’re the  _ only _ person who listens to me.”

“You could join the nerdy crowd, you know,” Lena said with a crooked smile, “I know you’re cheer captain, but you’re welcome to slum it with us too. The computer lab gets pretty rowdy at lunch when we’re raiding on WoW.”

Laughing, Kara rolled her eyes, “I  _ still _ don’t know how that game works. All I did was kill some wolves when you tried to teach me.”

“Well, the offer still stands. Anytime. Querl is there too; I know he likes being your lab partner.”

“I think  _ I _ like it more than he does; he’s carrying me through AP chem. Speaking of … I have to go, I’ve got a tonne of homework to do. Mind if I text you for help?”

Nodding, Lena’s mouth twitched with a smile, “sure.”

“Let me know if you want me to go over your English paper for you,” Kara said, unfolding her long legs and climbing to her feet. She braced her hand against the window frame as she glanced under her arm and grinned at Lena. “Not that you need my help, but as the top student in the class, I-”

_ “Oh,” _ Lena scoffed, shaking her head as she laughed and climbed to her feet, “I’m going to be a STEM major; I don’t have time for R and J essays. I’ll leave the artsy stuff to you.”

_ “Please.  _ You got a higher score than  _ me _ on the last paper, which is  _ annoying _ seeing as I proofread it for you. I should’ve copied it instead.”

“Go and do your homework, Kara,” Lena softly sighed, a tender look of longing in her eyes as she ducked back into her room, kneeling on the window seat.

She folded her arms on the window frame and placed her chin on top as she watched Kara slip back in through her own window. Turning, she raised a hand in a small wave, her grin crooked as her eyes crinkled at the corners. Lena’s stomach clenched slightly and she raised her own hand half-heartedly.

“Hey, Kara,” Lena said after a moment, watching as Kara paused her movements, grasping the top of the window and raising her eyebrows expectantly.

“Yeah?”

Mouth opening and closing as her heart ached in her chest, Lena rolled her eyes and waved dismissively, letting out a strained laugh. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Kara softly called back, a flicker of some unreadable expression on her face as she hesitated a moment before slowly drawing the window back down. 

Lena climbed off the bench and flexed her fingers, gritting her teeth before she picked up the notebook and quickly scrawled a new message, whirling around with it pressed to her chest as she seized the sudden burst of courage. Only to find Kara’s curtains already closed.

Letting out a heavy sigh, disappointment - and a small flicker of relief as her embarrassment was postponed - washing over her as she slowly turned the notebook around, staring at her own reflection in the glass with a look of longing on her face. 

_ I love you _

Tossing the notebook aside, Lena closed her own curtains and flopped down onto the bed, arms spread out wide as she closed her eyes and groaned quietly to herself, the music a quiet crooning in the background.

She watched YouTube videos on her laptop for a bit and then Lena eventually went to bed, locking the house up and switching off the lights before she made sure her alarm was set and climbed into bed. Exhaling, she sank into the mattress and her mind turned to thoughts of Kara. She was the last thing Lena thought of as she drifted off to sleep.

The alarm tore her from her dreams the next morning, and school was a torturous crawl, all the classes a breeze for Lena. She’d skipped two grades and was a senior with Kara, but even still, she didn’t really have to try as hard as she did. But she still turned in her homework with everyone else, knowing every answer was correct, and then lugged her clarinet case with her to the music room for band practice.

She bought her lunch in the cafeteria, spotting Kara sitting beside Mike, his varsity football jacket a mark of pride as the school’s star quarterback, and Lena wished she could just go over there and take a seat. Kara said no one would care, but they both knew that wasn’t true. Lena didn’t really make an effort to get along with people, she didn’t find it  _ easy _ . Two years younger than the rest of her classmates, she was a curiosity to them, an anomaly, and Lena was too shy to withstand their scrutiny.

Not around Kara. Never around Kara. But that wasn’t enough to make her want to cross the cheap linoleum and take a seat amongst the group that had been friends since the first time they’d walked through the doors of the high school and taken their places amongst the glorified athletes and cheerleaders. Not that they were mean, filling none of the usual clichés, but there was still that divide, that clique that Lena just wasn’t, and had no intention of being, a part of.

Instead, she made her way to the computer lab and got a headstart on her history paper, researching her topic of choice for WW2 as the others slowly trickled in, picking a computer and huddling around each other as they took it in turns. Lena zoned in and out of the conversation, joining in on the easy banter when she had something witty to offer, but otherwise, she made quick notes and found multiple articles that looked promising.

By the time lunch was over, she was just finishing off the sandwich she’d brought, chatting to Querl about partnering up for their biology experiment, when the bell rang. She had PE next, the one subject that Lena truly didn’t have her heart in, even though she took fencing classes externally. There was no appeal to volleyball or badminton though, the boys overly competitive while she dawdled at the back, waiting for them to pick up her slack, and it passed quickly.

The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough, and then she had mathletes practise afterwards for her extracurriculars, an hour of buzzer questions with speedy responses from the four of them lined up along two adjoining desks. Lena hadn’t gotten a single question wrong, feeling a little smug as she packed up her things a the end of the session and made her way outside.

Her mother was supposed to pick her up but her car wasn’t in sight when Lena emerged from the school, still bustling with activity from a dozen extracurricular groups, from the shouts on the football field, to the echoes of the squeaks on the basketball courts, the chanting of the cheer squad and the voices of the Model U.N. club behind a closed door. Crossing the parking lot, Lena took a seat on a bench, resting her clarinet case at her feet and her backpack beside her as she waited.

Lillian was late, unsurprisingly, and Lena sighed as she messaged her mom again, hunched forward with her elbows on her knees as her fingers flew across the keyboard. She sent the text and locked her phone when the sound of her name being shouted pulled her out of her irritation. Glancing up as she straightened, Lena watched as Kara walked towards her, hair up in a ponytail, blue eyes crinkled in a smile as she shaded them from the sun. She was in her cheer tracksuit again, a duffel bag slung over one shoulder, her practice session over for the day.

“What’s up, nerd,” Kara playfully teased her, dropping down onto the bench beside her, her arm slung along the back for it. “Waiting for your mom?”

“Mm, she must be held up at work,” Lena sighed, sharing a grimace with Kara as the wind ruffled her hair.

It blew into her face and Kara quickly straightened up, arm still around Lena’s back as she reached out with her other hand to catch the strand of hair, carefully tucking it behind Lena’s ear. Her touch was gentle and Lena had to fight back a flush as her heart lurched in her chest, its pace picking up as her lips parted. With a smile, Kara relaxed again.

“There,” she murmured, glancing around the near-empty parking lot. “Clarinet practice? Wait, no, it’s  _ Thursday _ . Mathletes?”

“Mhm.”

“How’d it go?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, Lena smiled slightly, her green eyes shining with pride. “Perfect score.”

Nudging her playfully, Kara smiled widely, “of  _ course _ . I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Lena let out a quiet laugh, ducking her head as her cheeks flushed with delight. But it pained her how  _ easy _ it felt, sitting beside Kara, laughing with her. It felt like they did it every day, the comfort between them so effortless that Lena didn’t even think Kara considered that it wasn’t like this for her all the time. The words welled up inside her, on the tip of her tongue, yet Lena bit them back, resolved in her silence. What good would it do when Kara had the star quarterback? Maybe if things had been different.

But when Kara smiled, wide and warm, it was like watching her light up, radiant as her eyes sparkled. Lena realised it had been a while since she’d seen Kara smile so brightly, her latest ones always laced with an edge of sadness as she fought with Mike with increasing frequency. And Lena  _ hated _ it; she didn’t care what Kara said, what excuses she made to her at night as they sat on their opposite roofs and talked about their day, about their homework, about the things upsetting them. It saddened Lena to think of her wasting her time on a guy that didn’t deserve her, putting so much of her warmth into someone so callous, and she wasn’t even sure if Mike knew how much he was hurting Kara’s feelings.

And then there he was, as soon as her thoughts turned to him, zoning out of what Kara was saying as she stared at her with such longing that she wanted to shake Kara for not realising that Lena was pathetically in love with her. She wanted to shake her out of it, wake her up from the predicament she was in, and tell her that she loved her, that she was  _ right there _ . Lena wasn’t even convinced that Kara would even like her  _ back _ , no matter the friendly way she was always saying how great Lena was, how she wished her boyfriend could more like her, but she dreamed about it all the time. That  _ she _ would be the thing Kara was looking for.

Instead, she kept quiet as Kara turned at the sound of Mike calling her name in the distance, the moment lost to the two of them as she ducked her head and Kara climbed to her feet. Picking up her duffel bag she hesitated and looked over at Lena, giving her a ghost of her formed smile.

“You’ll be at the game tomorrow, right?”

“Of course,” Lena said with an uneven smile, “they can’t do without their star clarinet player, right?”

With a quiet laugh, Kara nodded, “right. Well, I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Pausing, her lips pressed together as she deliberated, eyes narrowed on the car lot before she looked at Lena again and raised her eyebrows. “You know, he’s driving me home now anyway. He could give you a ride if you want. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Lena murmured, ducking her head, “I’m sure my mom will be here soon. You go on ahead.”

“You sure?”

Nodding, Lena gave her a smile and watched as Mike neared her, carrying his gear, his hair sweaty and face flushed red from running. He raised his eyebrows at her in as close to a greeting as she’d get off him, and Lena nodded slightly. Throwing his arm around Kara’s shoulders, he kissed the side of her head and turned her in the direction of his pickup truck.

Lena watched them go, a pang of longing in her chest as her stomach squirmed with an unpleasant feeling of jealousy. There was sympathy there too though as she watched them go, Kara climbing into the cab of his truck with her shoulders just a little more stooped with exhaustion.

In the end, Lillian was nearly an hour late to pick Lena up and she was regretting not taking Kara up on her offer to have Mike drive her as well. But when she got upstairs to her bedroom, shedding her bag and running a hand through her hair, she regretted it even more, taking in Kara’s blotchy face, curled up in the bay window just a few metres away from her. Pity clawed at Lena and her mouth went dry as she stared, unnoticed by Kara, and unwilling to intrude on her sadness.

Backing out of the room, Lena went to wash up for dinner, only to find her mother on her way out again for a business dinner. She left money for takeout and Lena ended up ordering Chinese food from a local takeout place. Finishing off her homework at the dinner table while she ate, she took the extra serving of potstickers she’d bought and made her way upstairs.

Kara had moved spots but she was still visible, dusk darkening the sky and leaving her bedroom like a glowing beacon. Sliding open her window, foregoing the notes this time, Lena slipped out onto her roof and crept close to the edge, sitting with her knees up to her chest as she shivered in the cool night air, waiting for Kara to notice her.

It took a few minutes, but when Kara glanced up, almost as if giving Lena’s window a cursory glance to see if she was around, she startled. Shooting to her feet, Kara tossed the paperback she was reading aside and jerked open her window, a scowl darkening her face as she squinted outside. She’d taken her contacts out and Lena watched as she fumbled for her glasses and jammed them on her face.

“How long have you been sitting out here?” Kara asked, her voice gravelly from crying.

“Not long,” Lena softly replied. “I, uh, I have something for you. Thought you might be hungry.”

Choking on a laugh, Kara sniffed and ducked outside, careful as she moved down the sloped tiles until she was near the edge. She sat down with her legs swinging over the gutter and peered at the white carton clutched in Lena’s hands.

“You saw?”

Shrugging, Lena gave her a pained smile, “I wasn’t spying, but … yeah. Here. Catch.”

She tossed the box across the small gap that separated them and watched as Kara deftly caught it. It was unsurprising - until last year, she’d been on the girl’s varsity basketball team, as tall and quick as she was. Lena wrapped her arms around her kneed and rested her chin on top as she watched Kara with a fiercely intense look in her eyes, taking in the way her crestfallen expression lit up, how her defeated shoulders straightened a fraction.

“Potstickers? They’re my favourite,” Kara laughed.

“I know,” Lena murmured, her lips curling with a pleased smile as a warm feeling spread through her chest, even as her heart ached for Kara’s sadness. “Look, I know-”

“I’ve got a lot of homework,” Kara quietly interrupted her, wrinkling her nose apologetically, “do you mind if I eat this inside? I need to get ahead of it all with- with the game tomorrow and Prom on Saturday, you know?”

Eyebrows rising slightly as her eyes widened, lips parting, Lena looked at her with guileless adoration. She knew Kara was going to be there with Mike, that he didn’t deserve to be the one dancing with her all night, posing for photos. But Lena had already decided not to go, so she wouldn’t have to see it anyway.

“Oh. Yeah, no, that’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks again.”

“Anytime,” Lena murmured, her smile just a little too forced as her eyes creased at the corners, “sleep tight, Kara.”

She climbed to her feet and carefully made her way back up the sloped roof and into her room, closing the window and then hesitating before she drew the curtains as well. That was always an effective sign that they weren’t available to talk, and tensed with annoyance and frustration, her silly crush getting the better of her, Lena spent the rest of the night going over the band routine for tomorrow evening.

Friday was a blur at school and Lena was nervous for the game that night. She’d performed at countless football games over the years, but it never failed to make her palms clammy as the school filled with the tense anticipation of the match. It was a home game, which meant that there was even more excitement than usual, and after school, the parking lot remained full as everyone hung around. 

In the locker room, Lena changed into her blue and white marching uniform along with the other girls in the marching band, the excited gossip going over her head as she buttoned up the high-collared jacket. Wedging the silly plumed hat beneath her arm, her clarinet pieced together with the reed in place, and she waited for the other girls, joining them as they made their way down the hallway.

Concession stands were already popping up even though the game didn’t start for another hour, the sun already painting the sky orange as Lena briskly walked towards the field, bypassing a group of guys throwing handfuls of buttery popcorn at each other. She eyed the stand, thinking about buying nachos once the game was over, and was swept along with the flow of students, parents and teachers.

On the sidelines of the field, Kara was in her cheerleader uniform, her high ponytail perfect, her legs lean with muscle as she stretched, warming up. Joining the rest of the marching band, Lena cast her furtive glances, despite the fact that the crowded bleachers made her an irrelevant figure amongst the sea of faces. 

But even as she thought that, the next time she looked, she found Kara staring at her. Flushing, Lena swallowed thickly as Kara smiled and gave her a small wave, and she couldn’t stop the small smile that curled her lips as she raised her hand. The fact that Kara had singled her out made her stomach drop, a freefall that made her heartbeat pound in her chest. Sure, the marching band stood out with their plumed hats, but she’d still been  _ looking _ for Lena. Hard enough to single her out. 

Giving her a thumbs up, Lena smiled a little wider and watched as Kara laughed, waving one of her pom-poms in the air as her cheeks dimpled. And then it was time for the match to start, the football players in their bulky gear donning their helmets as they huddled around on the sidelines, going over the game plan, the opposition in their red and yellow on the other side of the field doing the same.

Lena filed out of the bleachers with her bandmates, all of them making their way down the wide steps and spilling out onto the pitch. She peered sideways at Kara as she passed by the cheer squad, taking her spot in line with the other clarinet players. Hat on and clarinet in her clammy palms, Lena took a deep breath and listened as cheers rang out through the stands and the first drum beat reached her ears.

They played their number, a jazz tune with lots of brass, marching up and down the pitch as she played along in unison with the rest of her line. The sky was a deep indigo and the floodlights had been turned on, bathing the pitch in its harsh, luminous glow, blinding as the marching band looked out at the sea of indistinguishable faces.

It went by quickly and the adrenaline of it fuelled Lena all the way through, leaving her hands shaking afterwards as they filed off and the football players took to the field. Kara gave her a wide smile as she walked off and Lena quickly looked away, ducking her head as she followed the band back up the steps and to the section of the bleachers they monopolised. Filing in, cramped in between a saxophone and a trombone player, she watched as the game started.

While she had no love of football, Lena had joined the marching band so she had a reason to be at every game, mostly out of an intense need to not disappoint Kara, enjoying her delight at the fact that they’d be there together. Lena didn’t even need band on her college application, her grades and other activities, as well as her family’s standing, enough to get her into any college on the planet, but even though she had no real interest in the clarinet, she stayed. If only because from her spot on the bleachers, she could see Kara leading the cheer squad, shouting from the sidelines as kick-off ensued.

It was a long game, made all the longer as hunger gnawed at Lena’s stomach, but she stayed through it all, watching as the cheer squad took to the field at halftime, their synchronised routine impressive as the shorter girls were lifted, tumbling and flipping across the cut grass. They were up, and the excitement in the air was almost infectious, and Lena found herself cheering along with everyone else. Even if she didn’t really enjoy it, the energy at school after a win always made her secretly glad, everyone a little happier, laughter and gossip about the match drifting through the hallways. And with prom the following night, it would only add to that energy.

In the end, it all came down to one touchdown, and the tension was so thick as they watched the players run the ball down the field. And then the ball was thrown and Lena watched with anticipation as Mike sprinted and caught it, the pitch filled with the shouts and cheers of support.

They won with that final touchdown and the team hoisted their quarterback into the air on their shoulders as Mike pulled his helmet off, hoisting it into the air as he added his voice to the cheers. His smugness was palpable even from the stands, a wide grin on his face as he was lowered, slaps on the back following him back to the sidelines.

And he watched as one of the other cheer girls, a senior named Imra went to him, smiling as she no doubt congratulated him, but even from where she was sitting, Mike’s flirting was unmistakable, his smile wide as his ego didn’t even consider it  _ wrong _ to be standing five feet away from his girlfriend. Lena’s expression darkened as she spotted Kara, watched her take it in and turn, her mouth falling open with a wounded look of shock before she pushed her way through the crowd. 

Swearing under her breath, Lena roughly pushed past her cheering bandmates, shouting apologies over the din, and took the littered steps two at a time in her haste, tugging her tall hat off as she ran after Kara. Lena couldn’t see her, but it didn’t take much common sense to know she’d head straight for the girl’s locker room, and Lena jogged to the main building of the school, through the unlocked side door.

Her own things were in there anywhere, at the gymnasium, and she burst into it with a pained look on her face. Kara was slumped on a bench, her breath hitching with sobs as she shoved her pom-poms into her duffel bag by her feet. She looked up, paling at the arrival of someone else, but the sight of Lena made her visibly relax, even though she hung her head to hide her tearstained face from Lena.

“I’m sorry,” Lena whispered, gritting her teeth through the sympathy that threatened to overwhelm her. 

Moving slowly, she sank down onto the bench beside Kara and hesitantly put an arm around her shoulder. They’d never been close like this before, and Lena’s heart hammered in her chest at the contact, feeling Kara lean into her, her head resting on her shoulder as she let out a pent up breath. 

“It’s fine,” Kara whispered, her voice breaking, “I don’t know what else I expected.”

“You deserve better than that.”

“Do I?”

“Of  _ course _ you do. You know, you’re my favourite person in the  _ whole world _ . Fuck that guy; you don’t need him.”

Choking on a laugh as she fought back tears, Kara wiped at her cheek, “honestly, I don’t even know why I’m still with him. I think that … I just knew that we’d be graduating soon, and then it’d end so … why not just see it out, right? But I’m not even sure if I  _ like _ him. But he’s- he’s the quarterback and I’m the head cheerleader so it … it just made sense. It’s like it was expected.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Kara straightened up, “it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done with him. This is the last time.”

“Good,” Lena murmured with a faint smile, giving her arm a squeeze. “Come on, let’s get out of here.

They grabbed their things, not even bothering to change or shower, and they left before the locker room could fill with girls and noise. Weighed down with their bags, they left the school and passed by the concession stand, and Lena came to a halt a step before Kara did, turning to look at her expectantly.

“Hey … are you hungry?” Lena asked, jerking her head to the stand.

“Sure.”

She ordered them a serve of nachos and some sodas, juggling their bags as Kara offered to drive her home. She’d borrowed her mom’s car so Lena accepted, but they sat in the parking lot for a while, sharing the nachos and sipping Cokes as they waited for the traffic to clear out, listening to the music quietly playing on the radio.

An old song started playing, one Lena hadn’t heard in years, and she reached out for the dial to turn it up a notch. Tilting her head to the side, Kara let out a quiet laugh, “you like this song?”

“No,” Lena snorted, rolling her eyes, “but  _ you _ do. I remember you were  _ obsessed _ with it in eighth grade. It used to be your favourite song.”

“Now how do  _ you _ remember that?” Kara mused.

“I have a good memory.”

They lapsed into silence for a moment, their laughter fading as they listened to the song, and Lena sipped at her drink as she cast sideways glances at Kara, not knowing what to say. As far as heartbreaks went, she seemed to be taking it pretty well, and Lena wondered if maybe she  _ was _ being honest when she said she didn’t even really like Mike. That or Kara was a more convincing liar than she’d originally thought.

“Thank you, Lena,” Kara said as the song faded out and the next started playing, reaching out to turn the volume back done. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I wish I didn’t have to,” Lena sadly replied, catching herself as she winced slightly, “I mean, I wish you weren’t upset.”

With a quiet laugh, Kara reached out and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I’ll be fine.”

They left soon after that, the drive home quiet as they were occupied by their own thoughts, the music in the background and the tension that knotted Lena’s stomach, the urge to just  _ reach out _ . Kara was sitting right beside her, inches away - it would be  _ that _ simple. But that night wasn’t the night for it, her evident embarrassment and wounded pride too fresh, even if she didn’t care about Mike in the slightest. 

Pulling the car into the driveway of her house, Kara put it into park and turned the headlights off. Sitting in the dark for a moment, Lena slowly shifted, reaching for her seatbelt. Kara’s hand darted out to stop her and there was a troubled looking clouding her face, even as the corners of her mouth twitched slightly with a smile.

“I had a dream last night. You were there. It was … strange.”

“What was it about?”

With a scoff of laughter, Kara’s forehead creased as she shook her head, “I was a bird. And not just in the way that I knew I was a bird, but … I was flying. It sounds silly, I know.”

Cocking her head to the side, Lena stared at her with open curiosity, “what did it feel like?”

Kara hesitated and a slow smile spread across her face as she turned to face Lena, her eyes burning with a fierce light as she stared at her, so piercing that Lena’s mouth went dry. “It felt like the most freeing things I’ve ever experienced.”

Lena nodded, as if that was to be expected, before she hesitated and smiled, arching an eyebrow. “What was  _ I _ doing there?”

“You? I was ... flying away from something - _someone_ \- and then you were there and you- you held out your hand and I landed on it. Like I said … it was strange.”

“Hm.”

“Sorry, I’m keeping you out,” Kara said with a sigh, giving Lena an apologetic smile, slightly sheepish in the darkness of the car as she looked away.

Eyes widening in surprise, Lena opened and closed her mouth before she managed to protest. “No, no, it’s fine. I like spending time with you.”

“Yeah? What’s so great about me, huh?  _ You’re  _ the genius one.”

“Everything,” Lena blurted out, “I think everything about you is great, and just- just because I’m smart, it doesn’t mean I’m a good person. But you … I think you are. The best, actually.”

With a quiet laugh, Kara stared at her for a long moment, her expression softening and an almost tender look in her eyes before she pulled the keys from the ignition. “You’re sweet.”

_ Sweet. _ The words made Lena cringe and she slowly unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door as she tried to hide the wounded look in her eyes. Gathering up her things, she shut the door as Kara climbed out on the other side, and they stared at each other across the roof for a moment before Lena gave her a grim smile.

“I should probably get inside.”

“Yeah. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Lena made her way across the strip of grass separating their respective driveways and fished her keys out of her pocket. The driveway was empty of her mother’s car and the house was quiet when she stepped inside, the darkness banished by the flip of a switch, and Lena felt tired as she wearily plodded upstairs, hauling her band stuff and her school books.

She dumped it all in a pile on her bedroom floor and fetched pyjamas before going to shower, standing under the shower for a long time as she dwelled on her conversation with Kara. The evening had felt even longer than it was, and it left her feeling more weighed down by her thoughts than she ordinarily was. 

Pink-cheeked, she wandered back into her room dressed for bed in a summer camp t-shirt from middle school, signed with colourful markers, her hair damp around her shoulders as she flopped onto her bed, leaving the curtains open. Kara didn’t try and talk to her that night, and Lena brooded over her history paper and reread the paperback for her last English paper of the year. 

They’d be graduating soon, and she’d be off to MIT, her early acceptance secured months ago, and she wouldn’t be in Midvale anymore, sitting on her bed writing notes to Kara, or sitting on the roof talking across the gap. It made her heart ache and Lena convinced herself that perhaps it was for the best that she’d never been bold enough to say anything. Wallowing, Lena eventually put on some music and gave up any pretence of studying for finals - not that she needed the extra study time anyway, but she didn’t want to grow too complacent in her study habits - and spent the rest of the night playing computer games.

She stayed up late, hearing her mom come home from the office sometime in the early hours of the morning, before she eventually crashed. Falling asleep with the curtains wide open, a Twitch stream still playing on her laptop, until it went to sleep too, Lena slept through most of the morning and woke groggy and hungry. The room across the way was empty as she ran a hand through her tousled hair, and with a grim look on her face, she went downstairs to scrounge up some breakfast.

Lena saw Kara come and go throughout the day, while she stayed seated at her desk or sprawled on her bed, notes from earlier on in the term spread out around her as she shuffled through them, reiterating them again in longhand as she imprinted the facts in her memory. All the while, she was aware of the flicker of movements from the corner of her eye, but they both went about their business as usual, until the hour grew late.

With the sunlight fading outside, dusk ushered in, the glow of Kara’s room became brighter, more distracting, and on one particular occasion Lena looked up, she froze. Standing in the middle of her bedroom, Kara had on a pale blue dress, her hair elaborately braided and pinned up and her makeup soft and perfect. The breath caught in Lena’s throat and her lips parts as she stared open-mouthed through the window, only to be caught by Kara, who turned around as if sensing she was being watched.

Her face split into a smile and she reached for her notebook, scribbling down a note to Lena as she perched on the edge of her bed. Lena slowly reached for her own, uncapping the marker, and drifted closer to the window, settling down on the cushioned bench of the bay window as she waited.

_ Are you going tonight? _

A flicker of amusement ran across Lena’s face and she scrawled down her own response, thinking about how she probably could’ve gone if she’d wanted to. Lena had no qualms about showing up alone, and neither did Kara. If she’d known how things were going to play out, she might’ve even offered to go with her so she had some company. Not so bold enough to claim it as a date, but as friends. Just so Kara didn’t have to be miserable, losing her date the night before prom.

_ No, I’m studying _

_ I wish you were _

An ache flared in Lena’s chest and her eyes softened with sadness. For a moment she seriously considered saying she  _ would _ go, but she quickly pushed it aside, writing down another response. It took her a few moments, chewing thoughtfully on her lip before she held it up.

_ Have fun though _

_ I’ll try _

_ You look beautiful by the way _

_ You’re too nice _

_ I mean it! You do! _

_ So do you _

Looking down at the pyjamas Lena hadn’t changed out of yet, she laughed and her cheeks turned rosy with embarrassment. Raising her head, she gave Kara an exasperated look and watched as she wrinkled her nose with laughter. Shaking her head, Lena goodnaturedly rolled her eyes and Kara started to write something else down.

_ I have to go. I’ll see you later _

_ Have fun. I mean it _

Nodding, Kara hesitated and wrote something else. And then she shook her head, still looking down, and tore the page out. Giving Lena a smile in farewell, not offering up the last note, she waved slightly and grabbed her purse. Wondering what was written on the note, Lena sat alone in her window, staring at the dark room as Kara turned the lights off and left.

She sat there for a long moment, before she climbed to her feet, fumbling with the notebook, which landed on the floor, the pages crumpled and splayed open to one page. Slowly, Lena picked it up, staring at the words she’d written only days ago.  _ I love you. _

With a heavy sigh, she chewed on her lip as she deliberated for a moment, before tearing it out of her notebook and folding it up. Glancing at her alarm clock for the time, Lena slowly pushed herself to her feet, still hedging around the decision, before she made a snap judgement and burst into action.

Tossing the folded note onto the bed, she darted for the bathroom, having a hasty shower before she stumbled into her mom’s bedroom wrapped in a towel and rummaged through the overwhelming collection of dresses. Her mother was over half a foot taller than Lena, but she found a mid-thigh length dress in emerald green and yanked it off the hanger. With her shorter stature, it brushed the floor on Lena and was a little big around her chest, but it was the closest she’d come to a prom dress at the last minute.

Quickly twisting her hair into a chignon, she pinned it into place and grabbed the only pair of heels she had, a short black pair from some concert recital she’d performed at two summer’s back before she’d realised clarinet was a waste of her extra time. Wedging her feet into them, she grabbed the note and darted downstairs, taking the money her mom had left for dinner and running next door. 

Pounding on the front door, Lena was restless with impatience as she waited for the door to open. It was Kara’s adoptive sister, her college semester already over, looking surprised to see Lena standing there on her doorstep in a too-big dress with a desperate look on her face. Frowning, Alex gave her a sceptical look.

“Um, hi, Lena. Kara’s not in right now; our mom’s already gone to drop her off at prom.”

“I know,” Lena breathlessly replied, wincing slightly as she gave Alex a pleading look, her face reddening with embarrassment. “Look, I don’t have anyone else to ask, but … I like your sister. Like …  _ really _ like her, and she doesn’t know it and that …  _ asshole _ broke her heart last night and now she’s going to prom all alone and I just- I can’t let her go alone, so I really,  _ really _ am sorry, but can you give me a ride to prom? For Kara’s sake.”

“Oh, God,” Alex muttered, rolling her eyes skywards, “yeah, sure, let me grab my keys.”

_ “Thank you.” _

She backtracked down the driveway to the car that Alex drove and waited for her to get her keys and put some shoes on. Lena hadn’t had much interaction with Alex before,  _ certainly _ not enough to be so presumptuous as to ask a favour of her, but desperate times in the name of her love for Kara made Lena willingly make a fool of herself.

The door shut and Alex briskly walked to the car, unlocking it and climbing behind the wheel. Hurriedly climbing into the passenger seat, Lena buckled up and let out a breath of relief. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” Alex wryly said, starting the engine and backing out of the driveway.

“Hey, would you- would you mind stopping at the florist in town? I should get her a corsage right? That’s what people do. A corsage. Does she have a favourite flower? Oh God, what if Mike is there and  _ he’s _ given her a corsage.”

“If Mike is there, I’ll punch him myself,” Alex sighed, shaking her head as she put the car into gear and sped off down the road. “Her favourite flowers are gardenias. Get a blue ribbon to match her dress.”

“Gardenias. Right. Thank you.”

Snorting with laughter, Alex shook her head, peering sideways at Lena with open amusement, but Lena was too keyed up to even care. It was a last-ditch effort. Screw college and the end of sitting on the roof and passing notes like they were still in middle school; it was  _ Kara _ . The best friend she’d ever had, the best secret she’d ever kept, and she was sick of pretending that she didn’t love her. She didn’t care if they didn’t sit together at lunch or talk at school.

At the florist, she managed to get a last-minute corsage made up, the ribbon the same colour as Kara’s dress, and Lean was feeling braver with it in hand as she walked back to the parked car. Settling back in the passenger seat, she buckled up as Alex eyed the corsage, biting back a smile, and set off for the high school.

Feeling jittery the closer they got, Lena drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as it came into sight, people milling about in the parking lot as they were dropped off in limousines, luxury cars or by parents, the girls all dressed in a rainbow of colours, while the guys mostly opted for a black suit, their ties matching their dates' dresses.

Slowing the car, Alex glanced over at Lena, taking in her peaky expression as she seemed to wilt before the daunting crowd. “So … what’s the plan exactly?”

“I don’t know,” Lena choked out, “I don’t really have a plan. I was just … going to find her.”

“In front of …  _ everyone?” _

“Yeah.”

Staring at her for a long moment, Alex shrugged, “well, good luck. And hey, thanks for doing this for her. I’m glad she has a friend like you.”

“Friend, right, yes.”

“Well,  _ hopefully _ not, right? But still, it’s sweet.”

There was that word again, making Lena’s mouth thin, before she tucked a few of the bills she’d brought with her into the cup holder of the centre console, leaving just enough for a ticket, and gave Alex a smile. “Thanks for the ride.”

Stepping out of the car, she hesitated and then looked back at the seat, as if considering ducking back in and asking Alex to take her home instead. But Kara’s sister ducked her head as she peered across the empty seat.

“Good luck.”

Steeling herself, Lena solemnly nodded and slammed the door shut, clutching the corsage in one hand and the crumpled note in the other as she strode towards the open doors of the school. Following the stream of students, she bought a ticket at the door to the gymnasium and stepped into the cavernous room.

The lights were off and a disco ball threw dots of colour everywhere, balloon garlands and streamers, all in the school’s colours, decorating the room. A DJ was set up on a stage and music pulsed throughout the room, people already crowding the dancefloor while others queued for punch. 

Lena drew a few glances, mostly in surprise at her appearance, not one to frequent social events,  _ especially _ when a date was expected. She paid them no mind though, pushing through the packed room as her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for Kara. Lena would be able to spot her anywhere, and as the crowd shifted, a clear pathway opening up ahead of her, Lena finally saw her, deep in conversation with Querl before she reared back, laughing.

And then her eyes slid away from his as they gave the room a cursory glance, doing a double-take as her eyes got caught on Lena. She watched surprise flash across Kara’s face, then elation, before it settled into a softer look, warm and loving, and she leaned in to say something to Querl before turning away from him.

Pushing her way through the crowd, her eyes fixated on Lena, who found that she couldn’t move, frozen with wide-eyed panic now that the moment was here, Kara was just smiling slightly, like it was just the two of them sharing an inside joke.

And then Mike was there, stepping into Kara’s path, his cocky grin on his face as he stopped her by the arm and gave her an appraising look. Expression clouding, Kara extracted herself from his grip and brushed him off before she looked at Lena again, her expression brightening again as she moved towards her. Coming unstuck, as if watching Kara rebuff her ex had lit something within her, Lena stumbled forward a few steps, her mouth opening before she faltered again, her hands shaking and her mouth dry.

Lingering six feet away, Kara’s brow furrowed slightly, and then Lena spoke, shouting over the music to make herself heard. “Have- have you ever thought that … maybe you and I- that we …”

And then she cut off, her face flooding with red as she unfolded the note with shaky, clumsy fingers and held it up before her, an agonised look of longing on her face as she stared at Kara. Because there was no easier way to say it, no way to get the words out without difficulty.

The ensuing moment felt like an eternity, Mike in the background watching with a blanched expression of shock on his face, and Lena felt weak with relief when Kara moved, reaching into the little purse she carried to pull out a folded note. As she unfolded it, Lena’s breath caught in her throat and she realised it was the note Kara had written earlier and hidden from her, and her eyes burned with tears at the three words written on the page.

_ I love you _

Her feet carried her forward of their own free will and Lena couldn’t help herself as she seized Kara’s face, on her tiptoes to bridge the few inches separating them, and kissed her in front of everyone. An audible murmur ran through those nearby, but neither of the girls cared, and Lena could tell that Kara was crying, feel the tremor in her lips as her fingertips grazed her face.

Pulling back, Lena let out a breathless laugh, her eyes so achingly tender as she looked at Kara, her cheeks dimpling with a helpless smile as she fished the corsage out of the box and held it out, giving Kara a shrug. She gave Lena her hand to slip it on her wrist, her blue eyes glassy with tears that she tried to fight back, and Lena rubbed her thumb across the back of Kara’s knuckles.

“I just- I love you. Really, I do. Because I meant it when I said that you’re the  best person I know, and I know …  _ everything _ about you. And you make me feel  happy _ ,” _ Lena quietly said, staring at Kara as she smiled, “and I think … you belong with me. Have you ever thought that?”

_ “Of course,” _ Kara said in a hoarse whisper, a bewildered look of amusement on her face as her eyes shone bright with tears. “Of course I’ve thought that. You belong with me too.”


End file.
